Thanks to all for the responses... I've been kind of scared to check back here since posting this thread, nothing personal.
You're right caren, of course you are right. I "should" make more time to be with them, doing the things that they enjoy. How do you manage to work and unschool at the same time as a single parent? I am in awe. Are you able to carve out some time where you will not be interrupted to do your work? Are your boys involved in many activities? Has it gotten easier as they have gotten older?
I'm torn as a parent because my mother was permissive and I never really respected her. She was a housewife and basically spent her days as the family slave, doing the housework and errands and serving as taxi for me and my sister. Or else she would be helping some "charity case" friend who was either sick or broke or both. I saw that my other friends had chores and responsibilities while I got away with lazing in front of the TV all day, and that's not what I want for my kids. I will look at that consensual living website, maybe I will find some more ideas.
@aspiring, I guess I was just trying to find something for them to do while I am working with more social opportunities than a babysitter. It's getting harder for the 5-year-old because most kids start preschool at 4. It is possible that there will be a Sudbury school opening up here in Austin in the next year or two, and if that happens it will be a dream come true... provided I can afford the tuition.