Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Physical/SEXual Attraction. Is it Important?

justwanttobeme · 01-29-2009, 04:56 PM

My ex boyfriend was SO like Corey.

He was a very good looking guy - but had no confidence/experience and was shy. I, on the otherhand, was the complete opposite - extroverted and confident (and experienced sexually). He was fine when he was with people he knews, but in situations where he had to meet new people, he wasn't the greatest conversationalist. I was the one to ask HIM to kiss me - because he was too shy to make the first move - 7 years later, we split up - because of sex. I really thought his confidence would grow over the years being with me (either through teaching me, or, trusting me), but it didn't. He never initiated sex, wouldn't try new things and it destroyed our r'ship in the end. I'm really worried for him because i think it will affect his future r'ships with women. He even agreed he can't go upto women and chat them up because he's frightened of rejection (he's a good looking guy) - but it's this whole confidence/shyness thing.

He had a 'normal' family upbringing - they weren't prude about sex - i just think socially, he's not very good at communicating with people whether that be verbally or physically. I feel sorry for corey (not being patronising by the way), but his shyness will be a massive obstacle in any r'ships he has - he really needs to try and find a way of overcoming this, he really does...

As for the post title - Physical/Sexual Attraction is HUGELY important IF, sex is important to you. For me, sex is the one physical thing that can bind you together in a special way - it's highly intimate and keeps the romance alive. The difficult point is though - whether sex can be sustainable over a 40 year period with the same person - I think it's quite rare, which is sad. So it's just a case of meeting that one person who is your soulmate. I think a physical r'ship like that is more successful over a certain age - say 35. You've both lived your lives by then, had experiences, and i think it's the perfect age to settle down and get married. In your 20's or early 30's is way too early if you ask me...

01-29-2009, 04:56 PM	#47 (permalink)
justwanttobeme Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 4	My ex boyfriend was SO like Corey. He was a very good looking guy - but had no confidence/experience and was shy. I, on the otherhand, was the complete opposite - extroverted and confident (and experienced sexually). He was fine when he was with people he knews, but in situations where he had to meet new people, he wasn't the greatest conversationalist. I was the one to ask HIM to kiss me - because he was too shy to make the first move - 7 years later, we split up - because of sex. I really thought his confidence would grow over the years being with me (either through teaching me, or, trusting me), but it didn't. He never initiated sex, wouldn't try new things and it destroyed our r'ship in the end. I'm really worried for him because i think it will affect his future r'ships with women. He even agreed he can't go upto women and chat them up because he's frightened of rejection (he's a good looking guy) - but it's this whole confidence/shyness thing. He had a 'normal' family upbringing - they weren't prude about sex - i just think socially, he's not very good at communicating with people whether that be verbally or physically. I feel sorry for corey (not being patronising by the way), but his shyness will be a massive obstacle in any r'ships he has - he really needs to try and find a way of overcoming this, he really does... As for the post title - Physical/Sexual Attraction is HUGELY important IF, sex is important to you. For me, sex is the one physical thing that can bind you together in a special way - it's highly intimate and keeps the romance alive. The difficult point is though - whether sex can be sustainable over a 40 year period with the same person - I think it's quite rare, which is sad. So it's just a case of meeting that one person who is your soulmate. I think a physical r'ship like that is more successful over a certain age - say 35. You've both lived your lives by then, had experiences, and i think it's the perfect age to settle down and get married. In your 20's or early 30's is way too early if you ask me...