I currently have a very intense crush on someone at work, to the point of obsession. This is the second time this has happened over the past two years and I am trying to understand what it is about these particular people that has led to this reaction and why I get these crushes. I wondered whether anyone could give me any ideas to help me out.
I am a bisexual woman, and married to a man. My crushes are both women, who are extremely confident, successful and a little older than me. When I get a crush, I really obsess. I wake up thinking about them in the morning, think about them all day long, hope to see them, indulge in very intense, detailed, X-rated fantasies and fall asleep thinking about them at night. Of course, when I actually get the chance to speak to them, I am completely tongue-tied and flee - it is not easy to converse naturally with someone who you have been thinking about in that way.
I would so much like to be friends with these women. Yes, if the opportunity for something more intimate were to arise, I would jump at the chance, but this is totally hypothetical and unlikely to the point of impossibility.
These thoughts, fantasies, are like an addiction. They get me through the day and many evenings too. Yes, there is something lacking in my marriage, a lot and I wonder if I am seeking to fill that gap.
I feel very alone and lonely in this and I guess I am just needing to open up about it, so if anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it.
