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phoenixxx · 01-28-2009, 10:04 PM

I haven't read any particular posts on this. I'm sure there are lots.

But what I have found with myself is that a strong reason I have always been a darkworker (and haven't even known until recently) is because of an extreme repressed fear about my sexual orientation. It's so deeply embedded in my psyche that I am back to being in denial.

I found when I totally accepted it there was a massive internal shift.
All my behaviour before that point had been darkworker oriented. Then there was a surge of guilt and shame etc but I had totally reoriented myself towards lightworking- there was just no other way to live.

I am back to 'darkworking' now. My memory is hazy as to why......I think I told myself a few lies to cover the fact that I was still really scared deep deep deep down.

Has anyone had similar experiences???

My written skills aren't very good also so if any point needs clarifying let me know.

01-28-2009, 10:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
phoenixxx Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 51	What leads to darkworking... I haven't read any particular posts on this. I'm sure there are lots. But what I have found with myself is that a strong reason I have always been a darkworker (and haven't even known until recently) is because of an extreme repressed fear about my sexual orientation. It's so deeply embedded in my psyche that I am back to being in denial. I found when I totally accepted it there was a massive internal shift. All my behaviour before that point had been darkworker oriented. Then there was a surge of guilt and shame etc but I had totally reoriented myself towards lightworking- there was just no other way to live. I am back to 'darkworking' now. My memory is hazy as to why......I think I told myself a few lies to cover the fact that I was still really scared deep deep deep down. Has anyone had similar experiences??? My written skills aren't very good also so if any point needs clarifying let me know.