Hi,
I feel for you. It is a horrible situation to want to be better, but first have to be worse (in the other persons eyes) in order to do that...
Maybe something that might help;
First, write a letter where you explain all the things that you have lied to her about, and how the situation is at this moment.
Second, have an open and honest conversation with your wife, where you tell her that you understand what you have done to hurt her, and that from this moment on you will be completely honest. Unfortunately, there are somethings in the past that you have not been honest with her about, but telling them now might hurt her.
Third, give her the letter, explain what is in it (without reveling the content) and tell her that this is your new start.
She can choose to open it and read about it, she can choose to move forward from this moment and read it later when she and your relationship is stronger, or she might not read it at all.
Make clear to her that whatever she chooses you love her and will help her in any way you can to make your relationship work.
Forth, maybe it is also a good idea to check out counceling. Sometimes talking about it with a third person can put some perspective on things and will help you both move on.
I hope this helps. If you were not looking for advice but just airing frustrations, please ignore me completely, except that I wish you all the luck and love in the world.
Liefs,
Sandra
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