Calm down, I doubt she meant to attack you.
She raises an important point- there's a contradiction in what you're saying. To be perfectly honest it looks like you're playing the victim to gain our sympathy and you're not really interested in getting to the root of this. Imagine I'm saying that very calmly and matter-of-factly, because that's how I mean it- not as a judgement but an observation.
Is it incorrect? I don't know your head and your heart so yes, I might be. Just try to be mindful of how you come across. It'll make it easier for us to give you feedback.
Now, what I'm taking from this is:
1. You want change but you lack motivation. You're right, your knowledge won't do you one lick of good on its own, and depending on your personality you might fail in applying it unless you've got a strong reason for doing it. If you haven't already, look for something that impassions you, a new vision that inspires you, and use that as the fire to get your efforts off the ground.
2. I think you might be using your story to gain control by garnering sympathy. I don't think you're doing it consciously in this instance, and again it might be a misperception. It's just something to take into account. I'm sure you've seen yourself that when people need control they'll often do whatever they must to ensure that the people around them feel what they want them to feel. If that's the case then it'll be easier to work with you if you're aware of it. Consciously interrupting such patterns is key.
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