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Originally Posted by Foggy  I don't want her back. She's not the type of person who I want to keep in my life. She has acted with total disregard for my emotions and I cannot bring myself to have someone like that in my life. However, I still feel like a bomb has gone off in my stomach. I feel lost, confused, distrusting of other people and myself. I am upset with myself for the things that I did to help bring the relationship to a close (I was jealous, I played mind games), and I feel that I personally don't deserve another relationship. I keep wanting to call her and try to work things out but I know that she's not the person I want her to be and no matter how much I try I will never have the type of relationship with her that I want. I am not the type of person I want to be either, and the logical side of me says that I should focus on that because I may be able to change it. The scared part of me doesn't believe that I can do anything; that I should just give up on life.
Honestly, I am not looking for advice; or if I am I'm not yet aware of it. I already know how I should deal with the situation, but I've got a lot of emotions in the way. I guess I just feel like being fussed over a bit; perhaps if someone could share motivational break-up/moving-on stories or something it would help me feel a little less isolated right now. |
warning (Fictional story example)
I'll share with you an experience I had. It's not all good, but I ended up better in that end. ^^,
A few years back when I was in college, I fell in love with a certain girl. She was nice and all that, I did my best and treated her like a queen. (I attract money easily without problems)
So we started to date, I treated her to restaurants, even did her assignments and helped her with connections. (She graduated earlier than I >,<)
One thing led to another and eventually we had sex. (Not that it is a bad thing). Of course I'm familiar with sex, if you are a guy you'd research it before hand, to ensure that the woman you make love with will enjoy it to the maximum. It was both our first time and we loved it.
Now every few days we'd have sex and sooner than later, my love for her became more developed and I wanted to stop or minimize having sex with her, instead have more quality time to get to know each other.
We then fought over a lot of things, I don't know if it's hormonal or other, but she got to the point that it was really really violent. She'd cut herself, write letters of blood, that I could not help but feel so sorry for her and I couldn't leave her.
After 3 years of agonizing relationship, we broke up. And it was the happiest moment of my life.
You see, I made a couple of errors in the past
1. I was attracted to the girl and made her mine w/o actually knowing her
2. I wanted sex, got a lot of it
3. I had loads of secrets and she had too
4. we showed our love or lust for each other via sex.
the remedies are.
1. Don't have sex before you get to know the girl.
2. Goal is a longterm relationship
3. Have no secrets
4. Communicate always
I learned a lot of lessons in that one relationship and I no longer repeat them ever.
I am sure your experience in your previous relationship will make you a better man.
Besides what I experienced was way worse than yours, but I don't regret it. I'm rich, I have a girl who loves me and I still study my graduate school of law.
Life could only get more better.
Good luck and always look forward. I hope you can laugh at my story. ^^, it's way more depressing if you go through it in real life, for the first half anyway, but the end results are wonderful.