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smilingaway · 01-27-2009, 07:46 AM

For the last 10 months or so, I have been struggling with my sexuality and my attraction to men, primarily my boyfriend. I simply have become apathetic and turned off my men (and I am not attracted to women).

I am emotionally close to my boyfriend. We are very good friends and we share a lot of common interests and a sense of humor. We get a long great and we have been together (through many hardships, though) for 5 years.

While I may find men attractive and appealing, I have little to no desire to engage in sexual acts. I feel repulsed and tense. I feel bored and annoyed.

I have done plenty of analyzing and studying why this has occurred. I was in psychotherapy for a year and a half and discontinued this earlier this month because I felt therapy was no longer working (and I admit I have learned and attained much throughout therapy). But I feel it was best to move on.

The obvious answer is sexual abuse. I was sexually abused when I was 2 1/2 years old and even though I do not consciously remember it, I have had signs that have pointed to it.

However, for all of these years preceding the last year, I had a very high sex drive...almost too high. It was something, I believe, to feel in control, to feel beautiful, and wanted.

I don't particularly understand why the sudden change. I theorize that therapy began to dig out my feelings and thoughts about the abuse, more so than ever. Perhaps that is the reason. Another reason is last February my dog, my best friend, passed away and I was devastated. The loss ran deep and perhaps my unconscious associated love/closeness=pain/loss. While, that seems obvious, I had never lost someone so close to me before.

I have done plenty of thinking and speaking with professionals about the issues I have faced in my life. Yet, I am confused and a little frustrated with my loss of physical attraction, primarily with my boyfriend, and I have little desire to please him.

I am writing for some guidance, advice, encouragement, perhaps people who have been through this.

It's always refreshing to hear insight. I love insight and I hope someone can tell me something that i haven't thought of

01-27-2009, 07:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
smilingaway Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 18	Loss of physical attraction to men For the last 10 months or so, I have been struggling with my sexuality and my attraction to men, primarily my boyfriend. I simply have become apathetic and turned off my men (and I am not attracted to women). I am emotionally close to my boyfriend. We are very good friends and we share a lot of common interests and a sense of humor. We get a long great and we have been together (through many hardships, though) for 5 years. While I may find men attractive and appealing, I have little to no desire to engage in sexual acts. I feel repulsed and tense. I feel bored and annoyed. I have done plenty of analyzing and studying why this has occurred. I was in psychotherapy for a year and a half and discontinued this earlier this month because I felt therapy was no longer working (and I admit I have learned and attained much throughout therapy). But I feel it was best to move on. The obvious answer is sexual abuse. I was sexually abused when I was 2 1/2 years old and even though I do not consciously remember it, I have had signs that have pointed to it. However, for all of these years preceding the last year, I had a very high sex drive...almost too high. It was something, I believe, to feel in control, to feel beautiful, and wanted. I don't particularly understand why the sudden change. I theorize that therapy began to dig out my feelings and thoughts about the abuse, more so than ever. Perhaps that is the reason. Another reason is last February my dog, my best friend, passed away and I was devastated. The loss ran deep and perhaps my unconscious associated love/closeness=pain/loss. While, that seems obvious, I had never lost someone so close to me before. I have done plenty of thinking and speaking with professionals about the issues I have faced in my life. Yet, I am confused and a little frustrated with my loss of physical attraction, primarily with my boyfriend, and I have little desire to please him. I am writing for some guidance, advice, encouragement, perhaps people who have been through this. It's always refreshing to hear insight. I love insight and I hope someone can tell me something that i haven't thought of Last edited by smilingaway; 01-27-2009 at 07:55 AM.