i'm so sorry. i know how you feel, my bf broke up with me 3 months ago.. then i have been going through this whole cycle of seeing him and trying to win him back (very soul destroying). i was just so broken (or bent rather). anyway, last night he basically broke up with me again hahah. that's what you get for not letting go! I realised a few things.. a) we are both not where we need to be. He pushes me away, it makes me insecure, so i don't give him space, then he gets claustrophobic, i stop having a life, etc etc. ie not a healthy cycle. I need to change and grow. b) it's true. I've had a really rough time over this, but i am learning a few key things. I'm focusing on myself, on getting fit, on reading books that develop me, etc. i'm young, beautiful and smart, so i'm not going to spend that long crying in bed. So you know the whole 30 days to success thing? my 30 day goal for now is going to be DO NOT CONTACT HIM in any way for 30 days and focus on yourself only. That's going to be my 30 day goal. i miss him already, and just want to pick up the phone, but i'm going to do it. i've even mapped out my little chart. if he leaves after no contact and finds someone else, well i suppose it was never meant to be anyway. me being around isn't going to change that, will just make it hurt more. sorry i suppose our stories are different as you have come to the great realisation that you were not meant to be. as for grieving, i think you will know when it's time to grieve. the rest of the time get out and about. keep yourself busy, and when it really wells up inside of you then allow yourself time to write a little and cry. I find screaming in my car quite theraputic. I hope you'll be okay.
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