[Kaitn]

Originally Posted by Will Edwards

The best thing you can do, at the moment, is to provide an empathic ear. Don't get drawn in to trying to solve the problem; just listen and really try hard to understand it from his perspective. You will be amazed what that will do for him!

I've been doing that for five years now. It has indeed been of help to him, but he's been imprinted with the notion that showing weakness will lead to immediate doom, far too efficiently. Merely listening will not fix that.

Originally Posted by John Hill

If he is ok with it maybe you can even invite one or two of your other friends along, but pre-warn them first to stay as positive as possible and not to react to his negativity, and show him a good time.

That sounds like a very good idea, I've been trying to get him to go to a board game club, and he's enjoyed the time he's spent there, sadly lately thanks to all of his problems resulting in too little funding for his studies he no longer can afford to go there as often, if at all. Also, most of my friends are people he used to know, but (due to his behavior five-four years ago) want to have nothing to do with him... (Back then, his extreme dislike of showing the slightest bit of weakness lead to him constantly spewing lies in an unrealistical attempt to cover them all up, some lies terribly obvious, others not so..) So that makes it a bit of a problem to find people who have the time but that don't have a lot of seriously negative associations...

Originally Posted by John Hill

and that although his family might be tough on him, not everyone is like that. There are people who would like to help him if he gives them a chance. Even emotionally strong people need help and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

I know this very well, I just don't know how to make him realize this. Because I've told him this repeatedly in the past, but he just brushes it aside. He's terribly scared, deep inside. He's said that the only time he isn't the slightest bit scared is when he's violently angry.