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but sometimes i just like to observe and listen to people and try to help as best as i can
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Maybe you don't have anything to contribute into the conversation. I've been in this situation countless times. It feels intimidating and your ego hates it. But, in my case I'd stay silent than make an attempt to intrude
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i know this is not an attractive trait while dating. a lot of guys/men want a women who is super outgoing, talkative, loud, charismatic, great conversator
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No, I don't really feel comfortable keeping up a conversation for conversation's sake. And I wouldn't say I like a woman who has those traits. That depends on the person ( my 0.02 though)
On the other hand, you may not have any interest in the subject being conversed. Most of my peers engage in mindless conversation about school stuff (college populace) which doesn't interest me that much. Maybe you'll express your ideas when you have a topic of interest.
Another thing is, you sound like a perfectly nice human being. Unless you're repressing your feelings about a situation, why try to fit a mold which you'll be uncomfortable in?
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How can I go about this? How can I change from shy to outgoing and talkative and interesting? Or how can I fake it til I make it? I just want to be a joy to always be around and have people always inviting me to go places.
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Actually, I'm in a similar situation too. I would like to have a more fulfilling social life and get dates. It's not that I'm shy ( well maybe a bit) but I feel as if I have to act according to a certain set of social norms to gain the social acceptance. I completely understand your feelings about being shut off and the praise and social support extroverted people get. Very enticing for someone looking from outside. But, at least you're making an effort. You're expressing yourself through this forum. This way people can understand what your feelings are. You don't have to fake anything.