[Foggy]

I don't want her back. She's not the type of person who I want to keep in my life. She has acted with total disregard for my emotions and I cannot bring myself to have someone like that in my life. However, I still feel like a bomb has gone off in my stomach. I feel lost, confused, distrusting of other people and myself. I am upset with myself for the things that I did to help bring the relationship to a close (I was jealous, I played mind games), and I feel that I personally don't deserve another relationship. I keep wanting to call her and try to work things out but I know that she's not the person I want her to be and no matter how much I try I will never have the type of relationship with her that I want. I am not the type of person I want to be either, and the logical side of me says that I should focus on that because I may be able to change it. The scared part of me doesn't believe that I can do anything; that I should just give up on life.

Honestly, I am not looking for advice; or if I am I'm not yet aware of it. I already know how I should deal with the situation, but I've got a lot of emotions in the way. I guess I just feel like being fussed over a bit; perhaps if someone could share motivational break-up/moving-on stories or something it would help me feel a little less isolated right now.