Originally Posted by angelicfruit
I think Eckhart's hit the nail on the head. I'm gay and I know some gay people who are extraordinary self-aware and conscious. But I also know some gay people who live there lives almost exclusively through their sexuality and everything they do has to have a gay connection. I think sexuality is incidental and I don't live my life through it, but I can see why some people choose to.
You about wrote my post for me
Being somewhere between bi and gay (which is likely why I often prefer cuddling with women to actually having sex), one of my favorite books on the subject is “Spirit and the Flesh”, by anthropologist Walter L. Williams. Basically bisexuality was the norm among the ancient Greeks and most Native American tribes. Many tribes had what was generically called by the French “berdache”. Other names would be winkte or two-spirit person. One of the prime excuses early Europeans used for slaughtering Native Americans was that they were “smiting the sodomites”. Thus the bisexual/berdache issue is something that still isn’t readily spoken of.
As a gay man, a berdache was the bridge between the sexes, serving as the center of many rituals even to this day (A photographer friend noticed this recently in Mexico). Medicine men would consult him in spiritual matters, and a secret name given by a berdache was highly prized. Parents actually felt lucky when they had a gay son, as it improved their social standing in the tribe. In some tribes there were also “manly hearted women” who became warriors and could take on wives, while the berdache largely did women’s work (this fits with me being interested in midwifery) and may become one of the wives of a man.
As for the ancient greeks, there are at least two types of love: heterosexual and gay love. The name for gay love was Athena ouranus (or Uranus), spiritual love, while heterosexual love was seen as more base. In many areas around the world in earlier times, men had sex with other men until they were ready to have families. Natural birth control.
Personally, my dad feels fine with whatever I do so long as I stay healthy. There are some seriously self destructive aspects of popular western gay culture that I tend to be weary of, but there are deeper spiritual aspects out there. You just won’t see so much of it in the press or at circuit parties. I dated men for a while upon entering college, then went back to women, and for the past year have been celibate, focusing on other aspects of my life and relationships more. I value my experiences with both genders. Being with men at first can be a little scary, but at the same time I’m glad I didn’t let myself be limited by my fears.
PS: for anyone contemplating physical experimentation, I highly recommend “The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex: A medical handbook for men” by Stephen Goldstone (a gay doctor). Take care of yourself.