Most of our "dating games" are out of a fear of rejection... we are trying to put on a particular image so the other person will give us a chance. Then we can date and see if we fit together.
It seems very reasonable on the surface, until we look deeper at what's going on. At a deeper level what we're saying when we play *any* games is, "I don't think I'm good enough for you the way I am. Because if I act the way I normally would act, you might not like me. So I'll modify my behavior so that I don't push you away."
The other difficulty with many of the dating games is that because they encourage us to act differently than we might normally act, even if the other person does end up acting the way we want them to... eventually both people will realize they were acting, and then they still face the possibility of rejection and then have to get to know each other "again" (at least in some ways).
Growing up, I got rejected a LOT. I wore my heart on my sleeve, and it was painful. People encouraged me to play games, and when I did then I had more success in dating... but not more success in happily dating.
Yeah sure I got more dates overall (both with different women and with the same women), but I wasn't finding people I clicked with... because they were all basing their opinion of me based on the dating game... not based on who I was authentically.
When I stopped playing games (even the little ones like wondering how many days I should wait to call) and was just myself were the times I got into the longest lasting and most fulfilling relationships.
In the end, the simple question is: "Would I want the other person to act the same way?"
If things don't work out, at least we can say "I was authentic... and we discovered that when I'm authentic, this other person wasn't a good match for me. There is somebody else who will appreciate and embrace my authenticity."
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