maybe an interesting side note - when I became a parent I discovered a great well of compassion and understanding for my own parents where until then had lived only frustration and a feeling that they needed to be 'fixed'.
OK what triggered it for me was realising for myself what a major job caring for a child was, and how whatever you do, some of it is likely to be viewed as 'wrong' either now or in future by someone, even by yourself.
Now rather than the 'doing' or the actions of my parents I seem more focussed on just the feeling between us. And without having to go through any family therapy I have basically forgiven them. When I see their traits that previously annoyed me, now when I see the motivations behind it - I see mostly love.
I dn't think they have changed a great deal. They will never be perfect. That's fine, neither will I. But I have changed. And they have responded to having a less critical or judgemental child. I am able now to take the valuable stuff from our relationship and pretty much ignore the negative stuff without it really affecting me like it used to.
So of course each of us has a different path. But whether you chose to spend more, less or no time with your family in future perhaps forgiveness and compassion might help you. And these come from YOU and not from them. You can only change yourself after all :-)
H
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