Hi, I'm a male, 24 years old and I've never been in a relationship with a woman.
This post is not a pity party or anything like that. I have a lot (
well, say a fair number of) female friends, but none of them have shown any interest in pursuing a relationship with me. Surprisingly all the girls I make friends with don't really end up being more than friends, and I really can't find anything wrong with myself. But you know what? I think it's my own thinking. Deep down me I have this feeling of "Oh I don't want be in a relationship" - It took me a while to recognize this thought, it's so deeply ingrained in such a fundamental way, it's so hard to spot. I think that thought keeps me from attracting someone who'd like to have a relationship with me.
On the other hand, I'd love to be in a relationship. Right now I'm confounded by years of programming of "I am afraid of being in a rel'nship etc". Sometimes it strikes in a very insidious way. I see people with unhappy relationships and think " oh that's what will happen to me if I have a girlfriend, probably her interests will dominate my life. But now I see that thought is just a manifestation of scared of being in a relationship.
I mean, how tough is that? Male- female relationships are extremely natural, the most natural thing in the world. My feelings and fears have turned them into something as complex as a brain surgery. I need to change my attitudes about people inside, so that it will change my reality outside.
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Reasons for the above post - I've been a long time forum lurker. This evening I was having an introspective time with my fears and anxieties of never being in a relationship with a woman. Then I discovered my underlying fear. I guess a "thoughtpurge" of this kind will help me to overcome my hidden fears. On the other hand, show support and offer advice on purging these long held beliefs ( and if they've changed your lives)