Trust me, I know how you feel. Been there. But you are on the right track, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this page.
I now life might seem all dark and it's seems that there is no light at the end. ( had to say it
). Trust me your experience is an illusion, that you learned yourself to accept. You are able to experience life from a complitelly diferent perspective. Follow your instints and don't take anything for granted. Embrace your depressions and be willing to learn. Take, what feels right and don't dwell on the things that don't. Life is not that serious, infact it isn't serious at all. You come to the point, when you find reason to laugh and smile at just about anything.
At this point of my life, I can see that comonlly. I still walk around with a bag on my head most of the time, though. But it is exciting, to know, that there is more, that I still don't understand.