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Originally Posted by RRR  Please pardon the RDD.
You come off as needy, pessimistic and expecting rejection. |
Maybe I'm needy. I'm definitely lonely. I expect rejection because that's realistic. It has been my experience that most people reject me when I try this. Usually repeatedly. Maybe I should walk away after the first rejection and never invite them again. That way, I don't come off as needy. Really, the only way I see myself as coming off as non-needy is simply not inviting anyone to anything. Simply saying, "I would enjoy your company" seems to creep most people out.
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If you have friends who aren't interested in doing things with you, make more friends. You are worthy of friends.
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This is easier said than done. I have been trying for almost four years. It turns out that most people are either not interested in me, or not interested in the things I do.
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Why do you keep trying Fridays? Seriously...try setting up Tuesdays and Thursdays and see what happens.
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I used to invite people on Thursdays. There are these great free concerts on Thursdays. I also tried Wednesdays. There were free concerts then too. I've tried Monday / Sunday for a game of pick-up sports. I've tried Saturday night with a Halloween party. Guess what? No one ever wanted to go to anything. Movies are simple. Movies require you to get to the theater, watch, and then go home. I was hoping people would be willing to do that.
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Do you know why people don't like you?
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No. If I did, this would be a lot easier. I've asked people before. They say they do indeed like me. I guess I've never asked them, "Then why do you never hang out with me?" But at the point I ask that, I come off as incredibly needy, and there's no way they ever would again.
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Why keep messaging people who continually reject you? Are you particularly intimate with these people or do you keep everyone at a distance?
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Because these are the people I know. There isn't anyone else to invite. I'm not intimate with these people. They aren't my close friends by any means. It's hard to become close friends if you can't spend any time together. I've noticed that inviting people to spend time with me almost always *weakens* any sort of friendship I have with them. The only thing which strengthens it is if they invite me. Yeah, it makes no sense, but that's how it is.
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It sounds more like you are having trouble bridging the gap between acquaintance and friendship, try harnessing oneness and treating everyone your friend, lower your shields.
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What do you do to transition from acquaintances to friends? It seemed to me that getting everyone together to do stuff would be the easiest. You don't need to plan social interaction; it should just happen. Maybe I just know a bunch of anti-social rejects.