 To Plunge Or Not To Plunge!
I read Steve's article and it really made me think!
Working does give me a sense of positivity like increasing self-esteem and taking on responsibility (I look after autistic and Asperger clients which is demanding challenging work) but I have always had that "feeling" in the back of my mind that makes me think I am going in the wrong direction. Security or the idea of security is a intoxicating thing and part of me is quite happy to tread that eternal treadmill so I be secure but after reading the article I did think to myself am I really secure?????? Isn't it the case that security should bring happiness????? I don't think I am happy!!!! One minute I am singing my job's praises saying how great it is and then the next I see it as boring, uncreative, bland and "going nowhere". Irony is one of my favourite words! HAHAHAHA!
The real me, the one that I can indulge the Law Of Attraction with is being an artist. I am my happiest when I create which can be a painting or a sculpture or even a poem. It is a world away from autistic clients and structure and regime. Being creative is about being spontaneous, being alive, being reflective and sharing that with other fellow creative people. But the idea of living without a secure sense of self seems to push me into a mild panic and strangely I feel guilty for not doing the "right thing"!!!
And yes Steve I have listened to the Podcast on fear!
Being creative is maybe accepting that sometimes you will get knock backs, that sometimes you will make mistakes but then that's the joy of it. You become alive with the process instead of becoming a compliant machine.  |