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Originally Posted by LordSappington  I'm just frustrated. I *never* say stuff like that to people. I just say, "Oh well, that's a shame, you're missing a good movie." But after the 9th rejection, it's just hard to stay positive. I know all the pickup people say "Go and get rejected from as many women as you can." That's funny because those people are strangers. But that doesn't work with your friends. You're friends aren't *supposed* to reject you.
I feel alone and friendless. In about 6 months, I will actually be alone and friendless because the people who actually would've gone with me to this movie are moving away. I don't know what to do about it. I've struggled with this for over a decade, and the only conclusion I can come up with is that there is something so fundamentally wrong with who I am that makes me completely unlikeable. Someone actually told me that once. I thought that was a terrible comment to make, considering she was supposed to be my friend, but now I wonder if she wasn't on to something. |
I can understand why you would be frustrated. As Dan said, you come across as a regular, decent guy here. Other than the seemingly negative mindset, nothing you've been on these forums has put me off. So, again, Dan is on track when he advises you to look at what your friend said. I wouldn't say something is "so fundamentally wrong with who [you are] that makes [you] completely unlikeable" but for someone to say a thing like that, especially a friend (and think about whether she's someone whose opinion you value/trust) makes me think that maybe there are areas of your personality you could work on to improve in the area of friendship.
However, probably the worst thing you could do is buy into the mindset that you are flawed. You are perfect, whole and complete. You could just be projecting something different to the world. In cases like these, I like to use Angela's coaching formula. You could go deep as she normally does all the way back to childhood or you could just start with where you are. The jist is to look at what you are being that the world occurs for you as it does. Then you examine the cost of what this way of being has been in your life. Finally, you come up with a new, inspiring possibility of what to BE instead. It's a really powerful way to take responsibility for your life.