Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Initiating Relationships with Openness, Honesty, and Directness (Blog)

Cronfeld · 01-23-2009, 03:34 AM

This is going to be interesting - 'cause I'm going down the poly road with you!

I've been in a wonderful relationship for almost a year. Not ONE quarrel EVER since we met, almost pure happiness together 24/7. Sounds like a bad movie, but it's real. Well, a couple of weeks ago, I found out that she'd been with another guy for a night, and talked to him behind my back. The act itself didn't make me that sad, but the fact that she hadn't tell me (I found out myself) made me very sad, 'cause I trusted this girl with my life. Anyways - I gave her another chance, and we went on. She've done a lot of things the last couple of weeks to try to make me trust her again. I've told her all along that I didn't trust her anymore, and that I would probably never do. Last night we talked about all this stuff again, and she didn't like the thought that I would probably NEVER trust her again (and I really felt like that - but was still happy about myself and the relationship, it was just a fact). While talking to her and trying to find a solution I thought - in which scenario would my trust go 100% back right at that moment, and never disappear again. I found out that it would if I knew that she had NOTHING to hide. 'Cause if she hadn't, why would she EVER lie? What if we agreed that she could be with all the guys she'd like - and I'd be completely fine with it? Well - try to convice a young hot girl like her about that. I did it. I talked to her about a relationship where we could be with all the people we'd like, and just be happy about the other person enjoying life. Normally she would NEVER accept anything like this - but she could really feel that I did this for the highest good of all. I didn't do this just because I want more sex with random girls. I did this to be a better human being and make it a better world - both for her, myself and everybody else. She agreed that it sounded like a very good idea. She had some minor concerns about specific situations etc., so we talked all night about EVERYTHING related to this, so we had NO worries at all. Well - now we're trying it. I already feel MUCH better about our relationsship, and so does she. I'm looking forward to more poly' articles since I will do this myself with you. It'll be REALLY interesting!

01-23-2009, 03:34 AM	#21 (permalink)
Cronfeld Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1	This is going to be interesting - 'cause I'm going down the poly road with you! I've been in a wonderful relationship for almost a year. Not ONE quarrel EVER since we met, almost pure happiness together 24/7. Sounds like a bad movie, but it's real. Well, a couple of weeks ago, I found out that she'd been with another guy for a night, and talked to him behind my back. The act itself didn't make me that sad, but the fact that she hadn't tell me (I found out myself) made me very sad, 'cause I trusted this girl with my life. Anyways - I gave her another chance, and we went on. She've done a lot of things the last couple of weeks to try to make me trust her again. I've told her all along that I didn't trust her anymore, and that I would probably never do. Last night we talked about all this stuff again, and she didn't like the thought that I would probably NEVER trust her again (and I really felt like that - but was still happy about myself and the relationship, it was just a fact). While talking to her and trying to find a solution I thought - in which scenario would my trust go 100% back right at that moment, and never disappear again. I found out that it would if I knew that she had NOTHING to hide. 'Cause if she hadn't, why would she EVER lie? What if we agreed that she could be with all the guys she'd like - and I'd be completely fine with it? Well - try to convice a young hot girl like her about that. I did it. I talked to her about a relationship where we could be with all the people we'd like, and just be happy about the other person enjoying life. Normally she would NEVER accept anything like this - but she could really feel that I did this for the highest good of all. I didn't do this just because I want more sex with random girls. I did this to be a better human being and make it a better world - both for her, myself and everybody else. She agreed that it sounded like a very good idea. She had some minor concerns about specific situations etc., so we talked all night about EVERYTHING related to this, so we had NO worries at all. Well - now we're trying it. I already feel MUCH better about our relationsship, and so does she. I'm looking forward to more poly' articles since I will do this myself with you. It'll be REALLY interesting!