Quote:
Originally Posted by Kura Ookami  Stayfly:
My interests and hobbies are: anime and manga, video games, drawing and I'm thinking of joining a badminton club. I could join an anime/manga forum and try to be active in that community, maybe try to find some people who live close by. Same with the video games.
Okay, I'll have a look on Amazon and see what I can find there.
How do I control my state? Whenever I'm in a new social situation I get nervous. Not the best social state to be in.
Your advice seems good. Thankyou for all of your ideas. |
these are great ideas for meeting new people and making new friends. also, would you consider getting a part time job in a video game or anime store? it would be a great way to build your social skills by socializing with a lot of people in a safe and comfortable environment.
to control your state. change your physiology and change your focus. instead of nervousness, aim for a relaxed confidence.
PHYSIOLOGY
how would a relaxed and confident person stand, talk, walk, breathe, use their facial expressions etc.? think about it and do those things and you will feel a relaxed confidence. also, think of an anime, video game or movie character that exemplifys this state and pretend to be that person or like that person. i.e. as I walk down this street I feel like James Bond or like Brad Pitt etc.
FOCUS
change your focus. instead of thinking of yourself and your nervousnes, think things like "how can I make this fun? how can I make the other person feel comfortable? what are some interesting things we can talk about and enjoy?" focus outward and rather than inward.
practice this and soon it will be a habit to act confident in social settings. the more you practice it the better so a part time job dealing with people would be a great way to practice it and to get good at social interactions and on top of that try and do something fun once a week with friends so you balance have a balance and both your professional social skills and your personal social skills develop.
lastly, focus on your health and appearance too. being healthy and looking good are two great ways to build your confidence.
best of luck