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ns123 · 01-21-2009, 05:22 PM

Some times, I think my family holds me back, but now, I really understand that they don't hold me back, I hold me back and I use them as an excuse.

I think the question, for me anyway, is what kind of relationship do I want to have with my family? They really are not destroying my well being, they just have a tendency to annoy me or push my buttons in a way that really gets to me. But you know, all families do that. It's quite common. No one knows how to get under your skin like your family!

But, on the other hand, they love me and want the best for me. Their methods just suck and don't work for me. They should and judge and criticize. And it annoys the piss out of me. But they do it because they love me, not because they hate me and want to suck the life out of me. Though it seems that way some times.

The question boils down to, what kind of relationship am I willing to cultivate with my family members? If I allow them to hold me back, if I allow their methods to cloud their love, eventually, the kind of relationship I will have is going to be none. But, if I hear their love instead of their words, if I accept them for who they are, act with compassion and love, the kind of relationship that we could have would be wonderful.

When I stop shoulding them, judging them, they will in turn stop doing it to me. I already see this happening as my relationship with one of my siblings has gotten very enjoyable after I decided upon improving my views and actions towards him. And I decide so every time I'm with him - and some times, he doesn't reciprocate which makes me want to sock him.

This is not an easy path, to be sure. But as with anything, it gets better with practice. And the more you practice, the better you will get.

So my question for you is, what kind of relationship with your family are you willing to commit to cultivating? If you are not willing, there is nothing wrong with that. Some times, abandoning ship is the right thing to do. But sometimes, if you keep that ship afloat, it will allow you to go on a wonderous journey to beautiful exotic places.

01-21-2009, 05:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
ns123 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 658	Some times, I think my family holds me back, but now, I really understand that *they* don't hold me back, I hold me back and I use them as an excuse. I think the question, for me anyway, is what kind of relationship do I want to have with my family? They really are not destroying my well being, they just have a tendency to annoy me or push my buttons in a way that really gets to me. But you know, all families do that. It's quite common. No one knows how to get under your skin like your family! But, on the other hand, they love me and want the best for me. Their methods just suck and don't work for me. They should and judge and criticize. And it annoys the piss out of me. But they do it because they love me, not because they hate me and want to suck the life out of me. Though it seems that way some times. The question boils down to, what kind of relationship am I willing to cultivate with my family members? If I allow them to hold me back, if I allow their methods to cloud their love, eventually, the kind of relationship I will have is going to be none. But, if I hear their love instead of their words, if I accept them for who they are, act with compassion and love, the kind of relationship that we *could* have would be wonderful. When I stop shoulding them, judging them, they will in turn stop doing it to me. I already see this happening as my relationship with one of my siblings has gotten very enjoyable after I decided upon improving my views and actions towards him. And I decide so every time I'm with him - and some times, he doesn't reciprocate which makes me want to sock him. This is not an easy path, to be sure. But as with anything, it gets better with practice. And the more you practice, the better you will get. So my question for you is, what kind of relationship with your family are you willing to commit to cultivating? If you are not willing, there is nothing wrong with that. Some times, abandoning ship is the right thing to do. But sometimes, if you keep that ship afloat, it will allow you to go on a wonderous journey to beautiful exotic places.