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Originally Posted by funchy  I want to thank you for sharing your experiences, including personal information & pics. Perhaps this is why your open relationship style works so well for you, unlike most "playboys", I feel like you're not full of BS. Your honesty is refreshing. Thank you! |
Thank you, Funchy!
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Originally Posted by funchy I am going to ask something I'm sure you've had others ask you before, but I am curious to your reply. Forgive me but... If you have a "primary" girlfriend who you're in love with, why do you need to keep looking for action outside of that relationship? Does it imply that you have just not met a woman who is enough to keep you satisfied? |
It's not 'action' I'm seeking, Funchy - it's fulfillment.
No individual person could possibly provide me with the vast array of experiences, insights, and opportunities I desire, and it would be pathological to punish myself by presuming that any
one could - or that I should 'hold out' until I find this mythical construction!
If you had a favorite meal, one which you were enthusiastic about every time you'd had the opportunity to enjoy it, then it should be obvious that you should want to select
THAT MEAL whenever you could, correct?
However, without variety, eventually the appeal of THAT MEAL would dwindle; in the absence of
any other options, it wouldn't take too long before you'd begin to crave
ANYTHING ELSE! Not implying that you'd NEVER want to return to enjoy THAT MEAL, but rather that it would become impossible not to '
take it for granted' if it were the only meal you COULD have, and that ultimately it would become critical for you to try alternates, even if just to remind you of how much you truly appreciate your primary meal.
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Originally Posted by funchy My other question concerns the risk. Even with condoms, they do sometimes fail and don't protect unwrapped parts of the body. |
Condoms, combined with immediate aggressive cleansing of the body after every sexual event reduces the risk to an acceptable level, in my experience.
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Originally Posted by funchy Pregnancy: what if one of your girlfriends got pregnant? Would you be willing to raise a child with someone you only had casual sex with? Has it happened? |
I have had a vasectomy operation to remove all risk of unwanted pregnancy. My Primary has also had an irreversible sterilization since we hooked up.
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Originally Posted by funchy Disease: do you & your primary get tested often? |
Yes, monthly. We are tested for a 'full panel' of STIs, including HIV, Hepatitis B & C, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and others. Our testing utilizes the PCR/DNA method of diagnostics, thereby providing results within days of first exposure. (
AIM Healthcare - Home for details)
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Originally Posted by funchy How do you deal with disease such as herpes that spread orally? Or genital warts, crabs, and other things that can be spread on the areas not covered by a condom? |
Herpes can be suppressed with Valtrex, taken orally, for about 6 months. Most people never have a further outbreak during or after this regimen.
Genital warts can be contracted by scratching your pubes after shaking someone's hand - therefore my Primary, and all of my active secondaries, have been innoculated against the risk of cevical cancer due to HPV. But observation/avoidance of obvious leisions and outbreaks, combined with condoms, and aggressive post-activity bathing, have worked flawlessly in preventing my contracting anything.
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Originally Posted by funchy Quote: |
Originally Posted by Johnny Soporno Quote: |
Originally Posted by HealingMaven > and hey, everyone, male or female has dry spells. If your lover is having one, this rule is guaranteed to make her feel worse about it, not only does it pummel her ego, but it raises otherwise unnecessary insecurities about losing you. | You imagine that this is sampled much more frequently than I would ever insist upon; I don't require that anyone EVER has sex to suit me - just that they be open to the opportunity, and never consider me as their only option. | I read HealingMaven's question differently, but perhaps I misunderstood it.
If the primary girlfriend is having a dry spell because of stress, physical reasons, or whatever, could you conceive it might be possible she ends up hurt? Instead of trying to help her work through it, you go out and have you needs met by others. |
Absolutely the opposite has always been true - I am uniformly supportive and apply no pressure whatsoever to anyone, least of all my Primary. It is SHE who insists adamantly that I go have fun with our shared Playmates, or that I go off and make some new one, when or if she's on the 'disabled list' temporarily.
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Originally Posted by funchy In a monogamous relationship, at least in my perspective, it means I need to be home with my man finding ways to de-stress him or new ways to excite him. Sometimes in working through dry-spells, periods of premature ejaculation, periods of impotency, or whatever we discover new and interesting ways to connect to each other. Your thoughts? |
I have no experiences to compare to those, Funchie - I haven't been in a monogamous relationship since 1989.
If my Primary is having some mechanical or psychological trouble, I'm always encouraging and supportive, and do whatever I can to ensure she is comfortable and accommodated, honored and appreciated - and never feels passed-over or abandoned. As I've mentioned above, it will be her idea that I connect with another playmate (sometimes she might invite some over!) if she knows she needs some recovery time.
Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy