Quote:
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Go for win-win or no deal.
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Oh, but this goes against my upbringing that says we can never have all that we want, so better get used to it!
I have to count myself in on those who at first thought "OK for Steve and Erin; no way I could do it" but kept reading and pondering.
It has got me thinking about how different the mindset of the person (who is ok with polyamory) is versus how one would be in a monogamous relationship. Let's say a less consciously-chosen monogamous relationship.
Polyamory-open folks are just a different creature altogether. There is, I'm guessing, for most people, a sense of "surrendering" to another person when choosing to be monogamous. You allow your emotional life to be at their whims, and you may put yourself in a position to be financially dependent on them. There is an independence spirit I'm reading into polyamory where one takes full responsibility for their lives. That appeals to me because the more I look at it, giving myself over to another person has not resulted in some ideal, romantic, lovely life.
A good thing, yes! except that there are times in life where you need to be able to depend upon another person for care, sustenance...how do you factor that in, Steve? I know Erin makes enough on her own, but will you still be knotting your finances and care decisions together? I assume you'll stay legally married; will how you handle practical matters stay the same?