Quote:
Originally Posted by apsmith  Let's say your relationship of six years has one person who would prefer the relationship to be monogamous and one person who wants openness. You have talked about it honestly for years. You each have tried the other's relationship style with varying success. The underlying preference hasn't changed and continues to cause contention. In all other ways, you are compatible, happy, and committed to being together for the rest of your lives. Someone has to make a sacrifice. Each of you is willing to do so if it were required to stay together, but neither wants the other to feel forced into it. How can you move past this stalemate? |
I'd convert it from a monogamous romantic relationship to a non-cohabitating friendship. If it couldn't be converted, I'd break things off as amicably as possible. Either way I would seek out a more compatible win-win situation while encouraging my partner to do the same.
Compromise only breeds resentment. Go for win-win or no deal. It's better to go after the kind of relationship you really want and to allow your partner to do the same... than to settle for something that neither of you really wants.
Settling may look like it's "pretty close" or "close enough" to true happiness. In truth settling isn't even in the same ballpark as happiness.
For many years I tried to convince myself that continuing to run my games business was "pretty good" and "close enough" to what I wanted. When I finally dropped it to pursue something greater, I realized that what I'd thought was a 7 out of 10 had actually be a 1 all along.