Quote:
Originally Posted by soapbox011  I WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT PPL THINK!!!!
I MEAN, I MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES BUT STILL... WHY AM I SO PARANOID? IT AFFECTS EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE:
- I over-think what i say to ppl now... it makes a conversation and ppl start thinking of me as a jerk. Example: I always think what the person is really thinking about me when I talk to them... I act unintentionaly mean and they consider me as a horrible person.
- I am so bothered by what other people think that my school and work are all affected.
- I hurt inside and try to hold it all in... ineveitably I blow up and hurt other ppl... cycle continues.
- I always bring myself down... I noticed that ppl jump at it, and they become more and more comfortable in harassing and making fun of me. So rather than fixing the problem, cus i am worried about what they will say... I LET THEM CONTINUE.
HELP ME! My life is affected by this principle.
Meditation? Repetition of a few words? Hypnosis? I don't care... I am willing to do anything to fix this ASAP. |
I'll let you in on a little secret: Other people aren't thinking anything about you at all. In fact, they are too busy worrying what you think of them to think about what you are doing or saying at all. In fact, even if they are thinking about you, it's only because they are thinking about you in relation to them. So they aren't thinking about you at all. Ever.
What is going on: You are thinking about them thinking about you. It's all in your head, it's got nothing to do with them at all. In fact you could be in the middle of a desert and you would still be thinking hard about whether or not the cactus likes you, or if it will be friends with you. Of course, this might be after a few too many days of dehydration. So it's all in your own head? It's all your thoughts, and your mind that's do it.
What can you do about it? Stop thinking. That's it.
Stop thinking.
Okay, you are still thinking: because I just heard you think: "I can't stop thinking, because then I'd DIE!" There's three parts to your thinking: There's your awareness, the silent listening part of your consciousness. There's the mechanical part of it, the part that does the breathing, the mathematics and the analytical thinking. And there's the constant inane babble of chatter that runs on and on and on and on and on and on. It's what's worries about other people. It's what's concerned with how you look and act. It's what causes all of your axiety. That's the part you have to stop.
It won't be easy, it takes being willing and a little practice. At first you'll only be able to stop it for a second or two, then later 10 seconds, a minute and eventually stop it for hours on end, or entire days. And you won't be worried or have anxiety again, unless you want it.
The best way is to be present to the chatter, the endless thinking, and really notice it when it happens. Even go so far as to say "Hey, I'm thinking loudly again." Then when you get good at noticing it, you can start to turn it down, or off. Just imagine turning down a vlume dial, or moving away from the noise, or bloking your mind ears, and it will quiten down in response. It will start back up again, but just be aware of it, and turn it down/off when you don't need it.
Stopping it won't cause you to die, or malfunction or anything like that. It will still be there to be used, you just turn it off when you don't need it. It's like having the radio on all the time, it's not needed. In order to hear other people, and to hear life, and to sleep well, you have to turn down the radio, or turn it off. It's just the same with this endless chatter.