[LordSappington]

I have a pretty close friend, let's call her Laura. I went to college with Laura, and during college, she got involved with this guy Alan. I hesitate to call it a relationship, but I also hesitate to call it completely casual. It was somewhere in between. Eventually, he broke it off to pursue another woman who he claimed he truly loved. Laura was devastated, but everyone figured she'd get over it. Anyhow, Alan's "soul mate" ended up getting married to someone else, and so he went crawling back to Laura. Laura, of course, took him back. And then they fought because Alan was only half-assedly committed to Laura and would say things that really hurt her. This went on and off again for a good two years in college. Then Alan wrote a poorly written romance novel in which Alan was clearly the protagonist and his dream girl was the girl he lost as ordained by Fate. Laura was in there too. I didn't read it, but it seemed a bit too... melodramatic, which perfectly fit the entire relationship.

Then we all graduated, and Laura moved back home. And a few months later, Alan moved nearby. They got back together. This time, Laura assures me, is for real... except she's fully conscious that she's using him to boost her self esteem. Guess what? It ends badly. Again. Another year of drama and pain, and she just doesn't understand that the relationship is bad for her. In the mean time, Alan has jumped from girl to girl while Laura pretty much dated no one.

So, fast forward about another year and, Laura just won a free cruise for two people. And I asked her who she was going to take, and she said, "Don't laugh at me." And I immediately knew that she and Alan were back together. Except this time, "It's different. He's changed. But I'm being cautious."

Everyone who knows both of them knows that both of them are very insecure and are using eachother for love. Everyone knows that they both are perfectly good people but terrible matches for eachother. All my friends have told Laura that Alan is bad for her, and sometimes she even agrees. It's the same horrible stupid neverending cycle that has lasted 5+ years.

Anyhow, what should I do. I don't feel like I can be supportive. I just want to bash this girl upside the head and say, "YOU ARE AN IDIOT. YOU KNOW YOU ARE AN IDIOT. STOP BEING AN IDIOT." But of course, I can't say that. I'm all for letting my friends make their own mistakes, but not quite happy with letting them make the same mistake over and over again. So, what do I do?