re whether or not your ex will read him the letter- you do know if you never send a letter, he'll never hear from you... I'd say, any attempt to keep in touch is better than none.
As far as finding the right positive tone/words, I don't know if you're at all religious or meditate or have any other "stress-relief" activities? if it were me, I'd think about what I wanted to write before a yoga class or run, then go exercise, and write it afterward under the influence of the endorphins- I think putting yourself in a positive freeflowing frame-of-mind would help. Also I don't know if you might have a particularly non-judgemental kind good-with-kids friend or family member who could read it through and reassure you it is saying what you want to say?
Anyway, it must be difficult to be apart from your son- don't worry too much about coming up with exactly the right words- whatever you say, coming from a place of love, will be the right thing.
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