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majikins · 01-19-2009, 10:17 PM

Hi

I've been reading the blog with interest for some time now. Makes for good discussion and introspection!

There are many points I agree with. If I analyze my experiences, getting down to fundamentals, I liken relationships to chemistry. Interactions with different people and situations bring out sides to you which you may not acknowledge or fathom exists. Every wise-man tells you that one of the goals on this earth is to get to know yourself. It stands to reason that if this is the case and one of the methods of getting to know yourself is to interact with different people and situations, polyamory as a vehicle/tool may provide you with the means.

However this is not cut and dried - it can be a slippery slope.

Getting to know oneself is hard work. You need to be courageous. You need to acknowledge that you are in charge of your life, your emotional well-being and take accountability.

This needs to happen in healthy phases that build on each other - walk before you run.

The slippery slope affects you when you haven't followed a healthy path in growth. Intellectually you may appreciate a point of view, but emotionally you cannot deal with it. It is my opinion that this is the case with most a great deal of the time. Its almost as if there are split personalities - the conscious and subconscious are not in harmony. We are exposed to so much that bombards us constantly without relief - we don't take a step to question why we feel the way we do and pro-actively choose to respond - rather we seem to be geared to constantly react to life.

Polyamory in my opinion is a spiritual rather than sexual experience. However in order to fully appreciate this way of life, I think, one needs to be very much in touch with oneself and to be very conscious of who you are.

I also agree with the crux of what Steve is saying on relationships. It is sad that people get fixated on the sexual aspects of polyamory. Why are we so fixated on this? It boggles my mind. Simply put, it seems we don't have a healthy view of sex. But thats for another discussion. Loving relations are NOT about sex, tho sex is a part of it and an expression of this love. As Steve says, when you get older, your sex drive wanes(as is natural!) and you get to realise that being friends, caring about each other, liking each other is what you look forward to.

I realised this when I observed a gay couple together - they had been together for a while and their relationship was such that you could see their caring and love for each other - they genuinely LIKED each and it showed in their actions. Like most, I couldn't fathom how gay people loved each other in that way....then I realised that the relation was not about that in the end.

Relations, be it gay, straight, multiple are the better for you if you love and care for yourself and your partner/partners.

Its that simple.

oh but so hard to practice....

01-19-2009, 10:17 PM	#9 (permalink)
majikins Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1	Be careful! Hi I've been reading the blog with interest for some time now. Makes for good discussion and introspection! There are many points I agree with. If I analyze my experiences, getting down to fundamentals, I liken relationships to chemistry. Interactions with different people and situations bring out sides to you which you may not acknowledge or fathom exists. Every wise-man tells you that one of the goals on this earth is to get to know yourself. It stands to reason that if this is the case and one of the methods of getting to know yourself is to interact with different people and situations, polyamory as a vehicle/tool may provide you with the means. However this is not cut and dried - it can be a slippery slope. Getting to know oneself is hard work. You need to be courageous. You need to acknowledge that you are in charge of your life, your emotional well-being and take accountability. This needs to happen in healthy phases that build on each other - walk before you run. The slippery slope affects you when you haven't followed a healthy path in growth. Intellectually you may appreciate a point of view, but emotionally you cannot deal with it. It is my opinion that this is the case with most a great deal of the time. Its almost as if there are split personalities - the conscious and subconscious are not in harmony. We are exposed to so much that bombards us constantly without relief - we don't take a step to question why we feel the way we do and pro-actively choose to respond - rather we seem to be geared to constantly react to life. Polyamory in my opinion is a spiritual rather than sexual experience. However in order to fully appreciate this way of life, I think, one needs to be very much in touch with oneself and to be very conscious of who you are. I also agree with the crux of what Steve is saying on relationships. It is sad that people get fixated on the sexual aspects of polyamory. Why are we so fixated on this? It boggles my mind. Simply put, it seems we don't have a healthy view of sex. But thats for another discussion. Loving relations are NOT about sex, tho sex is a part of it and an expression of this love. As Steve says, when you get older, your sex drive wanes(as is natural!) and you get to realise that being friends, caring about each other, liking each other is what you look forward to. I realised this when I observed a gay couple together - they had been together for a while and their relationship was such that you could see their caring and love for each other - they genuinely LIKED each and it showed in their actions. Like most, I couldn't fathom how gay people loved each other in that way....then I realised that the relation was not about that in the end. Relations, be it gay, straight, multiple are the better for you if you love and care for yourself and your partner/partners. Its that simple. oh but so hard to practice....