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Originally Posted by Johnny Soporno  Rule One: I WILL BE NO WOMAN'S ONLY MALE LOVER! |
I understand your reasoning for this as a drama-prevention device. And I respect it as an personal boundary to increase your sense of safety within relationships. But I think it makes a much better guideline than rule as it doesn't account for people in a number of situations:
* You yourself talk about how badly trained many men are as regards healthy female sexuality. If you are actually as incredibly evolved as you seem, then you'd probably spoil a number of women for the general male population. Your rule could come across as pressure to sleep with one of those jerks if the lady you've picked up is otherwise single.
* Some women have a low sex drive. Again, I think your rule could come across as pressure for women not to do what they want -- which is to have a number of nice quiet evenings at home or out with platonic friends.
* Some women are more women-oriented than men. You could've pulled a lesbian, (some lesbian-identified women occassionally get involved with men) or a lesbian-leaning bisexual woman. If you're the exception, and she's happily got a gaggle of ladies of her own, why on earth would she want to find another guy with dangly bits to sleep with?
* and hey, everyone, male or female has dry spells. If your lover is having one, this rule is guaranteed to make her feel worse about it, not only does it pummel her ego, but it raises otherwise unnecessary insecurities about losing you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Soporno
Rule Two: Every girlfriend MUST COMMIT TO DO HER BEST to get along with my other girlfriends.
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I would think that this is just good poly common sense. (I know, common sense isn't common.) It's often a natural. I often get along with my SO's OSOs (Other Significant Others) like long lost best friends. If my partner is attracted to both them and me, there's a good chance we've got something in common in addition to similar taste in lovers. (This is one of the most gramatically painful paragraphs I've ever penned. Sorry about that.)
Still, it's a good rule for someone new to this kind of lifestyle who doesn't realize how distasteful acting like competition can be.