[sarahsarahsarah11]

Hi everyone,

So, there is this one girl. She is very naive, very smart, a little over-formal in the way she talks, and I think she's a bit of a recluse. In any case, I started talking to her, and becoming really friendly with her, and soon, really soon, she started calling me several times a day. A day wouldn't pass when I wouldn't have a message on my machine. And she always seemed to be asking me for advice about something, and on some level I felt like she was treating me a like a mother, and I felt like I was playing into this role. She was asking me again and again about some major she wanted to pursue that I hadn't even pursued, only took like two or three classes in it, and she was just calling a lot. Initially I didn't see anything wrong with it, but then one of my closest friends pointed out how much she was calling. I really did enjoy talking to her when she wasn't treating me like the person with the answer to all the questions... So, i kept saying I would call her back, and I didn't. In any case, I stopped answering her calls and I just stopped answering it.

She stopped calling for awhile, and then one day, I picked up the phone when she called I think cause I was feeling a little guilty. For the first time, she seemed a little offish, like she was testing me or something.

I'm not sure what to do. I realize, first and foremost, that I really used to be like her in a lot of ways, rather clingy, or at least appearing clingy, and calling people all the time even though that's pushing it a little. And with me, it actually manifested where it got to the point where somebody who was my really good friend directly told me to go away... I knew that it wasn't out of real hatred, it was because I was too clingy. And because that person told me to do that, I completely changed and I'm a much better person for it, I'm grateful to them in so many ways.

I'm scared that if I started being too chummy with this girl, she'll become really clingy and go back into, "Answer all the questions of my life" mode, and I might cave. But at the same time, I feel like on some level I've rejected her friendship because I feel I like I'm superior to her... I know I'm not, but I feel like it in some ways...

I'm not sure what to do... should I become more chummy with her? I mean she's a really nice person. Or should I completely stop answering her calls? I don't want to establish a friendship with her on the basis of either guilt and giving my all my energy and time to her or on the basis of "great superior me" taking on a project to direct through life...

I feel like if I don't hang out with her, I'm rejecting her friendship because I think she's dorky in a lot of ways, at the same time I'm rejecting how I used to be...

Any advice?