[Elenny]

I took over my father's failing business about 18 months ago. My new ideas were implemented and things turned around for about a year, but the past six months we have been hit hard by the economy, just like everyone else.

The rapid decline in revenue led us to take a closer look at the job that everyone was doing, mainly to see how we could get people to be more productive.

We found major discrepancies with two employees. They were both sent on early holiday vacation December 12, and were informed that they would get paid until December 31, but they would not return in January.

• Case # 1 - An administrative assistant who unapoligetically spent all day surfing the net. She received monthly written warnings in September, November, and December. Her behavior would change for a few days, but then she would return to her YouTube ways.

• Case # 2 - A salesman who pretty much refused to accept that I was in charge and hasn't done much work since I took over the day-to-day operations. Actually, he hasn't done much work for about 7 years. Looking back at his sales records, we found that he was meeting his sales goals an average of just 3 months each year since 2001.

But he was my father's best friend for many years, so Dad never fired him. However, I had many things well-documented, and finally got the courage to let him go, since he was just a cancer in the operation.

Everyone else came back to work on January 5. Since then, the young AA (a 19 year old girl) has come to see me several times begging for her job back. On Thursday I gave in and offered her a part-time job as my personal assistant (even though I really don't need one).

Then today I got a threatening letter from the dismissed salesman, asking for a year's severance pay, or he will sue ME for wrongful termination and age discrimination (he's 71).

Even though I was right to dismiss these two people, I gave in to the young girl's requests and gave her a job again, and getting the letter from this other person put me in a very somber mood today.

And what is my problem? I don't like people to be mad at me. I have always felt terrible when someone is upset at me for whatever reason, and then I become incredibly generous to make things better.

And it's not just with these two specific employees. These were the extreme cases, but I try to avoid conflict with everyone I come in contact with, and then I get mad at myself for not having the willpower to speak up and take charge.

So my question is, is that something you (or I) can change? Can I become more assertive / thick-skinned overnight and just tell everyone that it's my way or the highway? Is there a special blog I can read or a magic pill I can take?

I know if I continue allowing people to walk all over me, we're not going to be in business for long. And now more than ever, I need to make some very good strategic moves in order to keep my father's company afloat. I would hate to be the one that drives it into bankruptcy just because I was afraid a couple of employees might get upset at me.

But then again, I also don't want to be the bitchy boss who everyone hates.