Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Soporno  When any normal woman is asked what men should do to be able to hook up with her, she'll answer
"Just be yourself!" -
What the HELL does she mean by that? |
Actually, that's not how I used to respond to that piece of advice. My response used to be this:
"I'd be myself if I only knew who the hell that was!"
And
that, IMO, is the crux of the problem. And the only solution to that problem I've found for that is 1) a commitment to discovering who I really am and 2) the patience and willingness to learn that answer through life experience.
I know the answer can't be found through thinking it through, taking personality tests, or watching other people play the game. Not that those things aren't valuable. It's just that nothing beats learning from first-hand experience. The process I've found most helpful to me is this:
1) Expose myself to a new life experience.
2) Make a decision that involves this experience.
3) Evaluate my decision and how it helped or hurt me.
4) Apply what I've learned from my evaluation.
5) Rinse. Repeat.
1) and 4) are personally the hardest for me. 1) because it takes guts for me to try something new, and 4) because learning from self-evaluation is difficult for me. I'll learn the same thing over and over again and not change the next time, which is one form of insanity, I know. I still have a lot to learn in this life.
Anyway, my point is that if you're wondering who you are, it's not that there's anything wrong with you. A lot of people on this forum are too young to really know who they are. They haven't given themselves enough time to figure themselves out. And that's perfectly OK, as long as they are patient with themselves and are willing to take the time to grow. Hell, I'm only 27 and beginning to scratch the surface of who I am. And frankly, I'm looking forward to the journey, because I'm beginning to realize that I'm worth it. And that's my hope for other people -- that they realize that they're worth it, too.