Quote:
Originally Posted by crescive  Pace, I think our problem definitely stemmed from how insecure the situation made him feel. It is the truth that insecurity can be poison for relationships, it can be hidden but its effects (such as jealousy and its vindictive qualities) always come through, and it will ultimately sabotage a relationship. |
So true.
I used to be
very insecure, especially when it came to relationships. This affected me in many ways: I was jealous of my partners regardless of what they did (as I always held the assumption there was someone better suited for them out there, I didn't even need the actual physical threat of someone else for these thoughts). Insecurity and jealousy will eat you up inside no matter what your partner does if those are things you're feeling inside.
It's also something that affects your ability to find partners. I've always been told I'm attractive but when I was at my most insecure I couldn't have attracted a man no matter how much sex I wanted since I was too insecure to even get out into the playing field. So saying it's "easy" for women and "difficult" for men to attract sexual partners may not be all that black and white.
To blame your partner for feelings of insecurity doesn't seem like a good way to progress as surely no one makes us feel anything we don't let them. Didn't Eleanor Roosevelt have a saying about this?
Having said all that, I think sexuality is an area where most people (not just men) feel even more vulnerable. I think most people have a desire to be viewed as being sexually capable and being able to please their partners well. So a person who might be pretty well adjusted in most areas of life, could still suffer from feelings of insecurity when it comes to sex. And I would assume that the less experienced the person, the more insecurities they may have.
This is of course all an assumption since I'm not a man, but from what I've seen men are not
that different from women, when it comes to feelings were all human. Of course we can use biology and genetical inheritance to explain some aspects of men's sexuality but I find it hard to believe that this would be the full explanation. After all the labelling of sluts/studs is not biologically generated, it's something we as a society have created. Some people choose to see their world in this manner, some don't.
