I think I'm going for the e-mail.
Gosh... I'm having nightmares. This morning, I woke up after the following dream:
I'm surfing on this forum and I see her as "online" (even if she's not on this forum in reality). I become courageous and send her a Private Message, saying "Hi! Long time no see!". After a few minutes, she answers:"Oh, what makes you talk to me now?"
I:"Just wanted to check out how you are doing."
A few minutes later, a new PM (subject:"Listen..."):"Look... when I... in my life... take decisions... in my life.. they are final... I..."
And the tone of the first words hurt me so much that I couldn't read the rest and immediately woke up.
I think my subconscious is still suffering from the shock due to our last real conversation. She started attacking me suddenly, unexpectedly, finding something wrong in everything I said, giving me the impression that whatever I would say she would use it to find a reason to accuse me and create distance between us.
I was very hurt by that...
...
EDIT: Should I wait a few more months of NC before sending her the letter?
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