Good for you for going vegan! It can be frustrating sometimes dealing with an uncomprehending world.
My take on your co-workers' behavior is that they weren't necessarily being rude or inconsiderate; they may not have realized how important your dietary choices are to you or understood what vegan really means.
I've been vegan for nearly 17 years and I handle most events such as these by making do with whatever vegan food is available, asking questions about ingredients when necessary. When ordering off a menu in such a situation, I'll ask the server for more details about ingredients and whether certain variations are possible, keeping in mind that it's always a gamble whether their information is accurate.
It's true that this approach may not always yield the most exciting meal, but I realize that I'm in a minority by my own choice, and don't wish to give whomever's organizing the event one more thing to worry about. I recall one wedding during which I ate nothing but white rice, and another at which my meal consisted of two small dinner salads -- I was grateful those options were available, as it would've been awkward to have nothing to put in my mouth while everyone around me was eating.
Don't get me wrong, I'm into good food and I'm not a martyr! When dining with omnivores on a more personal level, I don't hesitate to steer them toward vegan (or at least vegetarian) restaurants. Over the years, certain people have demonstrated what seems like a bit of hostility (my father) or passive-agressiveness (my partner's mother) when it comes to where we eat or what is served at home, but those are the times I get to show my flexibility!
Keep up the good work!
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