[jaamkie]

Posted for several reasons:

to understand why men are unpleasantly persistent and make things awkward (sure I guess I understand an initial advance and that's not what bothered me- but if you get "no thanks I have a boyfriend" why do you continue until the woman gets uncomfortable and has to be rude?)

to understand why I felt like the men there thought it was odd to go to a bar as a woman alone (and why there weren't more women there to talk to)

to understand what other people see as the purpose of going out drinking, if not to socialize with random people

and yes to ask where else I could go purely for social interaction.

And I do take classes- yoga, drawing, and sometimes do volunteer tutoring/teaching; but I'm shy, and the purpose of those activities is firstly the activity itself, and only secondarily socializing (and with yoga in particular, the quiet inwardness is a big part of what I like about it- not having to think about other people). I guess it has come up now because I've been working from home for several days, when usually I work in a highly-collaborative overflowing team-room, so I was lonely and looking for more prolonged conversation than what fits into the slow moments of some other activity. The only place I could think to go was a bar, and I did have my socializing, but I also felt I was breaking some sort of social rule by even going there, and want to find a way to socialize without guys ruining friendly interaction by trying to aggressively flirt.