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Originally Posted by Brutha  Actually the Steve Pavlina forum doesn't happen to be a state. It happens to be a place where a community gathers to build relationship with each other to grow with each other.
If you have a love relationship you don't say either: "Hey let's end our relationship for 6 month because you misbehaved and afterwards we simply continue it and I hope you will behave better in our relationship.
The only reason to reenter into a relationship is having talked together about the reasons of the break up and agreeing to change.
If they do and really understand that it was the right decisions to ban them at the time they got banned, writing Steve or another moderator and asking to be unbanned might be the better way.
We do have a "people can improve through conscious choice"-philosophy instead of a "people improve because time passes by"-philosophy. |
I guess I just see membership on a forum to be more similar to membership in a community rather than a one-on-one relationship.
Even in one-on-one relationships it is hardly rare for people to get back together again after some time passes.
Most communities/tribes throughout history use temporary punishments that scale to fit the infraction, and imo it's not for "punishment" it is based on pure effectiveness.
Just because someone is unable to behave up to some perfect standard does not mean they aren't conscious, or aren't attempting to live consciously. It's not like "conscious living" is when you just flick a switch and then instantly you are a "smart person". It takes time, it takes failure, and it takes give-and-take with those around you. Most people learn through failure, and being banned on a forum is going to be a learning experience for most people whether they realize it or not.
I'm not just talking out of my butt either.. i've been posting on forums for over 12 years and I've seen many many people come back 6 months, a year, sometimes even 3 or more years after they've been banned and they are totally different people who are eager to make amends and reconnect with those who they had conflicts with.
Some people just break the rules to make chaos, but I'd reckon that most bans are people who get angry and lose control of themself and start lashing out because they're going through an emotionally charged time in their life. Kind of like Steve when he was doing juice feasting. It happens. People make mistakes, people get irritable and do things they regret. Personally, if the person is sincere, I'm a believer in second chances.