Ok, here is now a different take on it:
Your spirit is passing through different lifes.
Each life has its purpose and some of its events are a result of your past lifes.
Yes you have in a way created these events.
For example: If you had a conflict with someone in your past life you might meet this spirit again in this life and have difficulties again.
The beauty of this age in time is that we are now able to analyse our relationships better and can resolve them so they don't have to happen again in your next life.
Here is a simple example:
In my past life I was killed by a Lion that bit me in my throat and draged me away.
In this life I was attacked by a dog when I was 11 years old - the dog bit me in my throat.
So I resolved this issue by - getting a dog. A puppy. And I studied Animal communication to overcome my fear from stranges dogs.
So yes we do create our own reality.
And you can take charge over it.
And No - Your children are only part of your physical body.
When a child is conceived a different soul enters the cells and gives it life.
Possibly even earlier.(Not sure about that)
Hope this was simple...
Peace and Harmony