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David21 · 01-13-2009, 02:53 PM

Thank you for your responses. I did actually do a sensible thing last night and used the money I had to purchase some books on meditation rather than a bottle of alcohol.

I am actually on medication and have been for the last five or so years. I've been on several types and all have failed to work. The adult mental health care over here in England is not much to speak of which is why I will not give it a try. I don't believe cognitive behavioural therapy can work.

I don't like that there is always something to debate in life. I don't like to look through all the philosophy books and realize we have spent the last two thousand years discussing ethics and morals and such and still come to no conclusion that all can agree on. I don't believe that that is exciting - I see it as disappointing and frustrating because it hints and ignorance. If one ever does come to a conclusion in life he will only be hurt when he finds that his ideas are contradicted.

What also bothers me is that if I found something to be happy about, I would live in the knowledge that someone else is suffering just as much as I was. Where one person is happy another is miserable - that is the way of the world.

I don't like how flexible and open to interpretation things are. The human language will send us around in circles without our even realizing it. I can't ever know that this computer is composed of atoms because someone, some where will have their own theory about what it is made of. With such a vast number of interpretations, how can you ever know which is true? Life is complicated and difficult to understand and I know it doesn't have to be this way.

Every morning when I wake I have to fight with all my strength this urge to just lie there and rot. I don't want to get up because I don't want to have to face the same old problems, time after time. I had an appointment to attend this morning which I missed because I just couldn't be bothered to move from my bed. Everything I do is a struggle, an endless fight. Having to deal with this feeling of emptiness inside is not easy and, what's more, I know that millions are feeling it. If I break free from this depression, I know that millions are going to continue feeling it - surely it can't all be a lesson in learning?

Another problem I have is with people. I find it difficult to speak with people because I just don't have things to say. Moreover, I am 21 and have never been in a romantic relationship and all my attempts to engage in this kind of thing have failed. What makes this worse is that people have told me I am attractive. After a while this makes you feel like crap because you feel like you are no good for anyone.

There list goes on and I'm not as shallow and selfish as I seem. Things truly bother me. What's more is that I can't even convey them in words.

01-13-2009, 02:53 PM	#25 (permalink)
David21 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 186	Thank you for your responses. I did actually do a sensible thing last night and used the money I had to purchase some books on meditation rather than a bottle of alcohol. I am actually on medication and have been for the last five or so years. I've been on several types and all have failed to work. The adult mental health care over here in England is not much to speak of which is why I will not give it a try. I don't believe cognitive behavioural therapy can work. I don't like that there is always something to debate in life. I don't like to look through all the philosophy books and realize we have spent the last two thousand years discussing ethics and morals and such and still come to no conclusion that all can agree on. I don't believe that that is exciting - I see it as disappointing and frustrating because it hints and ignorance. If one ever does come to a conclusion in life he will only be hurt when he finds that his ideas are contradicted. What also bothers me is that if I found something to be happy about, I would live in the knowledge that someone else is suffering just as much as I was. Where one person is happy another is miserable - that is the way of the world. I don't like how flexible and open to interpretation things are. The human language will send us around in circles without our even realizing it. I can't ever know that this computer is composed of atoms because someone, some where will have their own theory about what it is made of. With such a vast number of interpretations, how can you ever know which is true? Life is complicated and difficult to understand and I know it doesn't have to be this way. Every morning when I wake I have to fight with all my strength this urge to just lie there and rot. I don't want to get up because I don't want to have to face the same old problems, time after time. I had an appointment to attend this morning which I missed because I just couldn't be bothered to move from my bed. Everything I do is a struggle, an endless fight. Having to deal with this feeling of emptiness inside is not easy and, what's more, I know that millions are feeling it. If I break free from this depression, I know that millions are going to continue feeling it - surely it can't all be a lesson in learning? Another problem I have is with people. I find it difficult to speak with people because I just don't have things to say. Moreover, I am 21 and have never been in a romantic relationship and all my attempts to engage in this kind of thing have failed. What makes this worse is that people have told me I am attractive. After a while this makes you feel like crap because you feel like you are no good for anyone. There list goes on and I'm not as shallow and selfish as I seem. Things truly bother me. What's more is that I can't even convey them in words.