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I have been waiting forever for my boyfriend of five years to propose to me
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So propose to him. Pardon me if I say "Duhh"?
Seriously -- if you're afraid he'll say No, you need to face up to your fear. If he has privately decided he won't marry you, you're better off finding this out now than going on pretending.
The decision will then be yours: Stay with the present situation, or start looking for someone who better suits your needs. The clock ticks.