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Originally Posted by Angela  Hmmm, very interesting. I just looked up symptoms of BPD and read that:
I can't find ANY of these symptoms in Steve, and unlike you, doctor, I've actually met him. Not that I can see into the depths of his soul, but I can't see even a TRACE of any of these indicators in anything he's said or done. But you can? Where? |
I was hesitating between NPD and BPD, but eventually I decided that BPD fits better, especially concerning his juvenile experiences. In one of the podcasts he describes himself then as a total mess - and NPD use to function much better overall.
In any case I didn't write only that he is a BPD - I also wrote that he constantly makes a huge effort to fight his condition without external help. His selftreatment included severe sleep deprivation, strict diets and several other experiments on himself and for some time - was at least partially successful. This blog and organized, orderly life help him a lot, there is no doubt. Also it seems that his relationship with Erin was greatly stabilizing so far but as we see - is not anymore. Sometimes he mistakes change for growth as if remaining stable was a kind of threat
This is expression of his instable identity - but obviously he believes that this instability is his own choice.
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Originally Posted by Angela Compassion for whom? For Steve, like you would be helping him by telling him? Or all of us, who are in danger of buying in to a manipulator's lies? |
I'm definitely not a savior of the lost souls. My compassion (if anybody can believe in his feelings) was of some ordinary kind - I've read his last posts about intimate relationships and polyamory and found some information about how he considered divorce for some time (and the reasons why he doesn't divorce seem rather awkward), felt that his love is not fully expressed etc. You don't have to be a mental health professional to see internal struggle and then a desperate attempt to overcome it even if someone would get hurt (including his own children). It seems that old system of defenses is not working well anymore and is slowly deteriorating. That was probably shocking for some longtime readers. I see it, I can describe it - I could predict it as usually BPD goes through his/her life surfing on the waves of crises. And I can't do anything about it. Is this sad? Not really, I feel fine with my limited power