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Originally Posted by Jake Birkett  haha, very funny post Steve, so many people here do seem to suffer from it (wait...did I just exhibit the symptoms?).
In fact I was discussing a similar thing last night with my partner. About how if someone talks about the negative aspects of someone else and seems a little too into it, are they are really seeing something of themselves in that other person or are fearful they may become like that other person in some way? Even if the observations appear to be true it can be another form of projection.
Actually if you get angry at someone else's behavior I think it could be for one or more of several reasons:
- You see something of yourself in that person that you do not like (you may not be seeing it consciously of course)
- Something in them reminds of you of something a parent or sibling used to do (and maybe still does) that makes you feel bad.
- You have set yourself up with some form of inflexible life values and you can't stand it when other people don't follow the same values. This is basically an inability to let other people get on with their own lives in their own way whilst you get on with yours in your way. (I suffer from this, lol! Crap, actually I probably suffer from all of these points which is why I'm able to identify them.)
- Their behaviour has a direct effect on your life which is unpleasant. Is there a way to handle it without getting angry, or at least turning the anger into something productive?
There's probably loads more but those are some main ones I can think of.
On a related note often I think people criticise other people (without anger, in fact with a kind of eagerness) because it allows them to internally say "and I'm not like that" thus it's a pure ego thing, which is a bit sad. I'm certainly guilty of that (more so in the past thank goodness) and I may even be doing it now ;-) |
Well, I wonder what's really wrong with criticizing other people? When someone openly describes his life, his relationship with his wife and so on - he then put himself in the spotlight and as an actor in a play he shouldn't be surprised that not every review is full of praise. Any other attitude seems to me rather inconsequential.
Also - it's a oversimplification and generalization that every critique stems from projective mechanisms or anger. I, for example - don't care at all what Steve does with his life. I know that I will have no impact on him or on his devoted fans. There is some group of people who are interested in his writings but without idealization and with a great dose of distance to his world view. But again - they have their own doubts and there is no point in convincing convinced.
Without writing a word on this forum I know that I'm not like him. Well, at least not exactly. I bet there are some similarities as you can find some similarities between any two people in this world. Yes, we all are the One and our differences are pure illusions. There are certain things in what he writes which resonate with me and others who seem just empty. I know that I have a contact only with his image, his own creation of himself and I perceive it through lenses of my own convictions. So what? I couldn't care less if the image is accurate and I don't feel guilty of any misinterpretation. It's a game, isn't it? And the stake is Growth, Expanding Consciousness. So any insight gained counts and the guilt-ridden attempts to suppress freedom of expression is counterproductive.