Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - A brutal rejection to brighten up your day

Riddle · 01-11-2009, 09:10 PM

I started to like this girl at work who I have known for about 6 months. She is 20 and listed as single (I’m 21). We flirted together and I enjoyed our interactions at work, although she was a bit shy (which I found endearing). Overall I considered her to be a nice, caring, reasonably intelligent and mature person. I also (stupidly) considered her to be one of my closest colleagues.

Anyway, after a few weeks of putting it off I decided to ask her out. This took quite a bit of courage on my part, since I am not yet 100% comfortable at doing this and I would have to work with her whatever the outcome.

So I went into work with the intention of asking her out and a belief that she liked me back. After I had spoken to her a few times I decided it was now or never, and so after I had finished my sentence I just blurted out “BTW, would you like to hang out some time?” This was incoherent with the rest of the conversation but I managed to stay calm about it. She looked pretty shocked and after a brief pause replied “err yeah... maybe.” I quickly added “just for a drink or movie, whenever you’re free.” She said “yeah, I’ll talk to you about it later after work.” However, her lack of enthusiasm was clear and she avoided my glance for the rest of the day.

At the end of the day when everyone was signing out she still wouldn’t look at me properly, and then as we all walked out the door she literally started sprinting as fast as she could towards her car (giggling at the same time). I was pretty shocked by this and I felt humiliated by her lack of concern for my feelings. I considered her a friend at least, but she didn’t even give me the consideration of a random stranger. A slap in the face would have been more compassionate.

I feel like I have been freed from a 6 month delusion, but now I doubt my ability to accurately judge anyone’s character and I feel like a complete idiot with zero social intelligence. But at least I had the courage to consciously go after something I wanted, instead of taking the easy (albeit dignified) less conscious route of inaction.

01-11-2009, 09:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
Riddle Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 76	A brutal rejection to brighten up your day I started to like this girl at work who I have known for about 6 months. She is 20 and listed as single (I’m 21). We flirted together and I enjoyed our interactions at work, although she was a bit shy (which I found endearing). Overall I considered her to be a nice, caring, reasonably intelligent and mature person. I also (stupidly) considered her to be one of my closest colleagues. Anyway, after a few weeks of putting it off I decided to ask her out. This took quite a bit of courage on my part, since I am not yet 100% comfortable at doing this and I would have to work with her whatever the outcome. So I went into work with the intention of asking her out and a belief that she liked me back. After I had spoken to her a few times I decided it was now or never, and so after I had finished my sentence I just blurted out “BTW, would you like to hang out some time?” This was incoherent with the rest of the conversation but I managed to stay calm about it. She looked pretty shocked and after a brief pause replied “err yeah... maybe.” I quickly added “just for a drink or movie, whenever you’re free.” She said “yeah, I’ll talk to you about it later after work.” However, her lack of enthusiasm was clear and she avoided my glance for the rest of the day. At the end of the day when everyone was signing out she still wouldn’t look at me properly, and then as we all walked out the door she literally started sprinting as fast as she could towards her car (giggling at the same time). I was pretty shocked by this and I felt humiliated by her lack of concern for my feelings. I considered her a friend at least, but she didn’t even give me the consideration of a random stranger. A slap in the face would have been more compassionate. I feel like I have been freed from a 6 month delusion, but now I doubt my ability to accurately judge anyone’s character and I feel like a complete idiot with zero social intelligence. But at least I had the courage to consciously go after something I wanted, instead of taking the easy (albeit dignified) less conscious route of inaction.