Sounds to me like you've thought a lot about things and from what you're saying it sounds like you feel you're moving in the right direction. I think sometimes it's hard sticking with our gut feeling even when others may not see it our way.
I have sort of similar issues so I can imagine how you might feel about everything but if you decide on what you want and develop concrete plans that you follow, how can you go wrong?
Who knows maybe the relationship with you and your mom will harmonize and she might see things from a different angle.
Power to ya.
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