Well... Edit: this is my reply to Parthon.
I have the three areas, I have the how, I have the why.
The why is important to me.
It's just... dunno. There's no real passion for it, maybe?
Maybe I'm just making excuses because I'm deeply lazy? I don't know.
No, impossible. When I'm truly passionate about something, I can work like a dog, fourteen hours a day every day for months. No laziness. Plus, resisting what I want to do costs much more energy than actually doing it, I've noticed this very well in the last few days. So, if I were lazy, I'd just do it.
Maybe I don't believe in the why.
And I hate self-discipline so much.
Someone once told me self-discipline is true freedom, because when you decide to do something, and you have high self-discipline, then you can trust yourself that you will end up actually doing it. You can focus on important decisions without having to organize your daily life.
I agree, and it sounds awesome. But when I try to be self-disciplined, it just feels like a cage, and I end up hating what I used to love, simply because I don't feel free to follow my impulses and to do things when I feel inspired to do them.
Btw, Parthon, I wish you lots of success with your goals!
