[Angela]

Originally Posted by John Freestone

It's in bold, with 'Moderator' underneath, top of every post. Compare the text to other usernames. It is actually a bit confusing. I didn't see anything on the page that says who is actually the mod on the forum. I guess I'd have to go into the listings.

Yes, I'll bet not everyone here even realizes that different forums have different moderators "in charge" of them, even though we all keep an eye out everywhere. Thanks for pointing that out.

Still, on the other hand, I have to say I find your point can be a little patronising and idealist when you're on the receiving end of it, that if someone offends us it is an opportunity for our personal growth.

Really? Does it annoy you? Congratulations to you, too! Sorry, I couldn't resist. I'm sorry if you're offended by my belief that if someone offends us it is an opportunity for personal growth. And I'm not sorry I believe it, or that I express it.

I mean, I know that it is, I just mean that that's not the whole picture. Anyway, it's probably worth sympathising with someone's annoyance a little first, before telling them to make the best of it.

I understand that you believe that it's probably worth sympathising with someone's annoyance a little before I congratulate them on an as-yet-unseen opportunity. Thank you for the advice. It's true that people DO get annoyed when I look at the half-fullness of their glass, before I commiserate with them about its half-emptiness. (which is great for them, of course! )

And look at the annoyance: "too much verbage and sometimes an air of self righteous superiority." Is that an offensive thing, to use too many words and project an air of self-righteous superiority? Does it diminish Lucky in some way if ALG is those things? It's not hard to see that it doesn't, of course. I'm not going to waste any time pretending that it does diminish him in any way, or support him in believing that he is diminished by what he perceives ALG IS. But I will acknowledge the great potential source of gold.

Quite why you have a problem with someone being 'annoyed' rather than one of the other things you suggested, I have no idea. I feel that lucky was probably trying to restrain his anger a little for politeness sake. But maybe he was just 'annoyed' and that was the right word.

No, you misunderstand... I was saying that annoyance is one of my favorite signposts for personal growth, not that I have a problem with it! Were you reading fast again? If I were given the choice between feeling annoyance vs. anger (or resentment or passive-aggression) as a pathway to learn my lesson, I would choose annoyance because it is easier to feel ... it is less bad-feeling to me than those others. It's getting off cheaply, you see what I mean?

For just that reason, I think sometimes we let annoyance be and just live with it, without looking into the benefit it has for us, and when we do that, then the more painful feelings often come in as a follow-up. "Helloooo!?! Are you gonna look at this, or do we have to get medieval on your ass?"