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Originally Posted by John Freestone  This is a new concept to me, a moderator who not only does not take part in the threads she moderates unless needing to do so for disciplinary purposes, but actually takes a biased position and adds insult to injury for someone complaining of the rudeness of another member. Well, not exactly new, I've been on the receiving end of it. |
"Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to ME?" Because your description of that non-participating-except-to-disclipline moderator doesn't fit me, and yet you seem to be referring to me. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you can only SEE "discipline" coming from me, much as ALG has described. Maybe you're mad because I haven't replied to your last post addressed to me? I don't know.
But Lucky, in case you buy into John's faulty mind-reading of me, please know that my congratulatory post was not meant to be rude, insulting, or patronizing. It was sincere. In case you've never seen any of my (many!) posts on button-pushers, I believe that when you get a button pushed, like getting annoyed or angry about something someone else says, it's a huge opportunity for personal growth. If you felt neutral about what ALG said, you'd just pass it right by without comment, right? Or maybe you'd respond without getting emotionally reactive. But since you say you find his "too much verbiage and sometimes air of self-righteous indignation" annoying, you have a great place to look boldly at yourself as to why it's occurring for you this way. There are a lot of threads around here where people have done just that -- I call it taking 100% responsibility -- and seen hugely helpful things about themselves that they'd never seen before, things that have them being more effective and powerful in their relationships.
"Annoyed" is one of my favorite flavors of button-pushing, because it's a great signpost without the overwhelming pain of an emotion like, say, outright anger, resentment, or passive-aggression. It's an "easy" one.
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I don't see you jumping in to give the believers similarly patronising put-downs. I noticed ALG could get away with badmouthing me repeatedly without a "Gosh, you are learning a lot from John, aren't you? Look, he's got you all in a tizzy!".
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I'm not the moderator of this particular (I/M) forum, and I'm glad, because I can't be bothered to read all the lengthy exchanges between you and ALG. From what I've seen, it's pretty much the same old stuff all the time. You two sort of remind me of a couple of old guys at the chess park in front of my apartment, who are still arguing about a girl they both courted 25 years ago, and she's dead now.
I would celebrate with you if either/both of you were able to get beyond this seemingly interminable conversation and reach love, understanding, or even acceptance. But if you want to continue to with your curmudgeonly banter for 25 years, that's okay with me, as long as you don't break the forum rules. The moderator of this forum will keep on eye on your threads, and you (and everyone else) is invited to report posts that you feel break the rules, and the moderators will discuss it and if necessary the administrators will get involved.
(Just for clarity's sake, just because what someone says annoys you, that doesn't mean it qualifies as "rudeness" under forum rules. If in doubt, report it.)