Yes I've been emotionally blackmailed in the past.
Sometimes it truly was for my own higher good... because I was being a stubborn and/or ignorant idiot. In those cases, although angry, I went along with it.
Sometimes, I didn't have the confidence to stand up for myself... so I went along with it to avoid the repercussions.
However, as I have now grown more confident and wiser, I have found an approach that is extremely effective in dealing with these situations.
1) Step away from the situation for a little while to think, reflect, feel, etc.
2) Return to the situation and acknowledge the person's feelings.
3) Present a solution which typically removes me from the situation.
This approach has proven to be very effective in my experience. A lot of times, people who use emotional blackmailing try to put us into an either-or situation. "If you do this, then I will make your life a living hell."
Things get a lot simpler when we remove ourselves from the situation. For example after a heated argument...
Boy: "If you go out with that guy "friend" of yours, then I'm going to break up with you and tell everybody that you're a lying cheater!"
Girl: "I'd like a few minutes to be alone and think about this." Girl goes away for a few minutes, then returns.
Girl: "I thought about what you've said, and I don't honestly think either of us want those things to happen that you've described. I've decided that I'm not going to go out with that guy today. It is clear that we have some differences we'll be unable to resolve, so instead I am going to go out and start looking for a new place to live."
(that's not the best example, and sure it probably has some holes in it... but it's the basic premise)
Generally speaking, when I respect the other person's concerns and then choose to act in a way that is empowering to both of us, the situation subsides one way or another in a way that is less confrontational.
This approach obviously won't work with all people... but it's very effective in forcing people to consider what they're actively choosing in their life. And in the times I've used this approach, usually the other person backs down on their threat and ends up also responding with a similar sense of compassion.
Sometimes all we need is to take a step back and allow some aspects of the situation to diffuse through compassion.
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